Gatson CAPS#6

Self-disclosure is the revealing of information about oneself.  (Martin & Nakayama, 2012) It is also the key component to intimacy.  Kurt Lewin proposed three models of intimacy: superficial, personal, and private.  With each circle that is entered, obviously more in information is revealed.  Much like the process used to extract oil, reaching the “inner core” is a long process.  You have to go through the surface followed by layers, each one more dense and hard to break than the last.  Sometimes you have to wait a while and let things settle and adjust before digging out more.  And then there are the times where you just cant reach the core.  Both of these processes take patience and time. 

I met my best friend Haley at the age of five, we met but we were not best friends.  We belonged to the same church and always were in the same groups and choirs growing up.  We were acquaintances in the outer circle and it stayed that way until last year when she was my sister’s roommate.  The night we moved in we went out for ice cream and by the end of our walk to Ivanna Cone we reached the middle circle as time went on we became best friends. I personally am not very guarded.  Whatsoever. However Haley is very guarded.  We live together in a condo, live across the hall, share a bathroom the whole nine yards and still I am just now breaking through to the inner core. 

Note the brass knuckles:)

Haley is 20 and one year older than me.  Haley’s style is the edgy side of Urban Outfitters with leather, dark color schemes and studs whereas I bright colors and floral flowy skirts.  Her phone case is a brass knuckle and mine is a squishy pink. In the style department we couldn’t be more different.  Most people, upon meeting Haley tell her they are intimidated by how she dresses.

Haley’s personality is harder and can seem insensitive to those who don’t know her, most people would consider me soft and thoughtful.  However morally we agree on the same things, we are both extremely optimistic and love making the mundane fun, like two days ago her car go towed, we ended up laughing about the whole   thing instead of getting mad, and we both want to move to the east coast etc.

It wasn’t until this chapter that I really thought about the levels of intimacy and self-disclosure. I loved learning about the 3 circles this chapter.  It helps me see how I interact with people and I can evaluate where I am in the current relationships.       

Refernces:                                 

Martin, J. N., & Nakayama, T. K. (2012). Intercultural communication in contexts 6th edition. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.