Danielle and I met back in 2008 at a barbeque restaurant in Lee's Summit, MO. We were both servers and she would tell me stories about her love life and past relationships with boys. I would always listen intently, rarely adding advice, but more of just being a friend to hear her out. The conversations were always so lively and fun, and we started to hang out outside of work. We talked on the phone, visited each other at work, ate sushi... so many activities! I noticed our friendship over time becoming more genuine and authentic. And the more I learned about her, the more I adored her!
Kurt Lewin and his proposal on the self in regard to the personal/private self consists of three circles that represent the three areas of information shared overtime in a relationship.
The first circle he describes includes superficial information, such as daily life, common interests, and other basic topics. I identified the communication between Danielle and me during our first interactions as in the first circle.
The second circle is on a more personal level-- including family background, or past experiences. Once Danielle and I first met, the conversation, while never dull, slowly transitioned from more basic things to more intimate details about our lives. The final core is the inner core. This is a private and personal information that some share with no one. I know we have had some serious talks about sensitive subjects and life-changing experiences. I know I can count on her to keep my deepest secrets, and I am always there to keep hers.
References
Martin, J. N., & Nakayama, T. K. (2012). Intercultural
Communication in Contexts. Chicago: McGraw Hill.
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