Being a minority
and coming to Lincoln, Nebraska I knew it was very likely that I would befriend
people who were very different than me. And thankfully because of this it has
made me into a better person. I grew up in Kansas City, Missouri and lived in a
predominantly African American neighborhood and went to a mostly African American
high school. However, when growing up I was always taught to be open minded and
accept everyone for their differences. I was fully aware that one day I would
be put in situations where there wouldn't be a ton of people around that looked
like me. And today I’m aware of it and accept it.
When I came to
Lincoln one of the first people that I met when I moved in was my friend “Mike”
(I changed his name simply because I didn't ask could I put him in this blog).
Mike is someone who I typically was not friends with in high school, not intentionally
but because there weren't many people like him around where I grew up or went
to school. Mike is a 21 year old white male, from very small town Nebraska, conservative
catholic religion, and considers himself heterosexual ( I say considers himself
heterosexual because upon meeting him others may think otherwise). I am a 21 year old African American male, from
big city Missouri, moderate Baptist Christian religion, and heterosexual. So initially
on the surface we appeared to be very different people. I think the situation
of us both being new to Lincoln and from different environments is what initiated
our desire to become friends.
Throughout our freshman year we became pretty good friends. So good in fact that Mike invited me a long with a couple other friends to his hometown which consisted of only 400 people. Out of the other friends that went along, one was a Hispanic female and the other was a white female. With the experience of going to Mike’s hometown we definitely experienced the Cultural-Individual dialectic. Going to his hometown I was admittedly was very apprehensive because I have all of my preconceived notions of how it was going to be. I had many thoughts running through my mind such as will they accept me because I’m black? Will I be welcomed into the town? And many others. When I arrived to his hometown I was immediately taken aback by how tiny his town was. There was no stoplights and only 4 total stop signs. This was something totally different that I experienced in big city Kansas City. Also, he didn’t have any immediate neighbors by his farm. They never locked any of their doors to their home and actually even left their car keys inside of their unlocked cars. I quickly came to realize that his was simple the culture of his town. They didn't have to worry about theft or anything because everyone literally knew everyone else in the town and everyone looked out for one another. And proudly I can say I was welcomed very warmly by the inhabitants of the tow, However, I had one of Mike’s friend say to me “Believe it or not, but you are literally the first black person that I have seen in person”. This person had never left this town which is all white, but I was thankful that even without her having prior encounters with African Americans she was one of the sweetest people I've met. That experience taught me so much about people and their culture differences.
Throughout our freshman year we became pretty good friends. So good in fact that Mike invited me a long with a couple other friends to his hometown which consisted of only 400 people. Out of the other friends that went along, one was a Hispanic female and the other was a white female. With the experience of going to Mike’s hometown we definitely experienced the Cultural-Individual dialectic. Going to his hometown I was admittedly was very apprehensive because I have all of my preconceived notions of how it was going to be. I had many thoughts running through my mind such as will they accept me because I’m black? Will I be welcomed into the town? And many others. When I arrived to his hometown I was immediately taken aback by how tiny his town was. There was no stoplights and only 4 total stop signs. This was something totally different that I experienced in big city Kansas City. Also, he didn’t have any immediate neighbors by his farm. They never locked any of their doors to their home and actually even left their car keys inside of their unlocked cars. I quickly came to realize that his was simple the culture of his town. They didn't have to worry about theft or anything because everyone literally knew everyone else in the town and everyone looked out for one another. And proudly I can say I was welcomed very warmly by the inhabitants of the tow, However, I had one of Mike’s friend say to me “Believe it or not, but you are literally the first black person that I have seen in person”. This person had never left this town which is all white, but I was thankful that even without her having prior encounters with African Americans she was one of the sweetest people I've met. That experience taught me so much about people and their culture differences.
Mike and I lived
on the same residence hall floor our first two years. So during these two years
we were pretty close, by this time there was a group of about 8 of us the hung
out together all the time. However during our junior year we ended up moving
from the same floor and into different areas. Due to this change it sort of
changed the dynamic of our friendship. I wouldn't consider us to be as close as
we were during those first two years. We would grab lunch regularly as well as
hangout out. Now however we see each other and it’s sort of like a hi and bye
type thing where occasionally we will stop and catch up with each other. This
part of our friendship is where I would agree with the book when it talks about
how African Americans tend to expect long term friendships with people. I agree
with this because once our friendship started to dissolve I started think about
how he took us to his family’s home for a weekend. And personally my friends
don’t spend time with my family unless I know they are sticking around for a
long time. So I saw how our friendship related to the book how friendships can
end quickly or change quickly. But when it’s all said and done we will still
consider each other friends today. But I have learned to see how the dynamics
of intercultural friendships can change depending on the culture.
Below is just a
picture depicting friendship among different cultures.
It sounds like you and I have had very similar encounters with small town Nebraska! I, too, have a good friend who's from a tiny town without traffic lights! hahah You're right to point out that college is the type of environment that fosters intercultural friendships. People come from all over to attend school, so we have tons of opportunities to get to know different kids.
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